In lieu of recent events, namely almost burning my hand off with boiling water, I have decided to compile a list of life lessons based on...well, my life events so far. I think most can be summed up in: Don't be stupid, but I press on.
1. Do not under any circumstances try to jump over a hurdle from the backside...it will only end in a tennis ball size bruise on your ankle.
2. When attempting to warm a pre-baked Grandmas cookie, do not stick it on a kleenex and put it in the microwave for 3 minutes...fire is no good for the cookie, or the microwave.
3. When driving through an ATM at the bank, recognize that the yellow poles on either side of you are not padded and will dent and scratch your car should you happen to get too close.
4. Never assume that the bus route in China goes in a complete circle, it will only take you to a rice field in the middle of nowhere.
5. Graduating and getting married on the same day may seem like a good idea, but it isn't. Also, never sing "Climb Every Mountain."
6. If you are needing to dye your hair and pick up a box at the supermarket that says "Hair Painting", put it down immediately.
7. When you run out of gas in an intersection, do not roll your car into the nearest Church's Chicken and tip their wall over..all they do is laugh at you.
8. Whenever you are in Indonesia, or anywhere near the equator, no matter how cloudy it is...wear sunscreen.
9. And Finally, when making a pot of tea, be sure to pour the boiling water into the mug and not on your hand...a red and bubbly hand will ensue.
This list is by no means complete, this could be an additive post. I'm quite certain that I have many more life lessons yet to come. Be excited.
2 comments:
I love your life lessons!! I, too, have many lessons to offer. Ah, life.
ahahahahaha! i just now read this and laughed out loud in my office. i am so privileged to have been present for several of these life lessons. and a few others:
1. when a semi-truck has his right blinker on, even if he's in the left lane, he's going to turn right, even if you are on the right side of him.
2. as a general rule, keep your comments to yourself in diction. if you don't, you will live to regret it...or laugh at it.
3. do not under any circumstances wear capris to juries.
4. scarves are appropriate in ANY season. :)
Post a Comment